18 Comments
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Nick Winney's avatar

Awesome work!

you managed that so well in a very short story. the childlike innocence just a veneer over a deep horror.

top marks!

ive struggled with a few stories that i cant finish that have this theme of a darkness being woken to come back...and...do something... but i cannot seem to get to the resolution...

you did it so well in this story. 😎

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thank you! You’ll get the resolution down in due time.

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Ken Flyingheart's avatar

This story is completely unique. The subject, the narrative... for some reason, I imagine the tale being whispered in breathless sentences. This was phenomenal read and the ending was absolute perfection.

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thank you so much for the kind words!

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Jude Klinger's avatar

Mom was a very unlucky woman.

Fun & creepy in the very best way.

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

She was unfortunately. And thank you!

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Keith Long's avatar

Very nice

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thank you!

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Andy Futuro's avatar

This curdled my blood.

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Happy to curdle!

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L.G. Wells's avatar

Great atmosphere! I could feel the breeze, hear the grass, and see the insects. And I love that you left some of "what happened" to the reader's imagination. Great job!

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thanks!

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Wendy Cockcroft's avatar

Aw, that was brilliant! Great job!

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thank you so much!

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Garen Marie's avatar

When Mari was beating on the ground calling for them to give her mom back - wow, powerful stuff. You have a way with writing from the perspective of children that makes your scary stories all the scarier as they're coming from someone small and vulnerable. Loved the ending too. Well done.

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thank you! I do have the mind of a child so it was easy :/

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Saint-Lazare's avatar

I have always been fascinated by these Japanese statues, and now, I understand why... Terrific atmosphere and ending.

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Thank you! Got to watch out for those little guys.

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